These past few months I have observed myself turning down social encounters, including more intimate connections with people.
The premise has always been that I am going through a phase of solitude and introspection.
The deeper truth of the matter is that essentially I still don’t know how to act myself.
I don’t know how to receive love and validation without the need to please the people around me. I don’t know how to be loved by simply being myself.
Since the time I remember myself I have always received love through the role of the sweet girl, the good listener, the “tranquilizer”, the healer, the entertainer, the enchantress, the loving mother.
Those roles are second skin to me but damn it they are not sustainable any more, as my system refuses to take up any of them any longer.
But, who am I without them?
What does it mean to be authentic?
Being in solitude is many times much easier.
Authenticity is uncomfortable.
People can get scared away by your flaws and humanness or intimidated by your strength and independent fierce spirit.
Both darkness and light are challenging to reveal.
And we are collectively dying for acceptance and validation.
The question to be asked is: Where does your validation come from?
Is there an inner reservoir of self worth available for you to bathe in anytime, or do you walk through life begging for attention and love, prostituting yourself for grains of sympathy?
Your worth is inherent, infinite and indisputable.
Do you feel it in your bones?
Or are you running after people who don’t really see you, constructing a life based on social conditioning, other people’s preferences or family expectations.
My heart breaks when I come across people, especially women, who are oblivious of their worth, disconnected from their Divinity, completely unable to receive a compliment.
Those who are scared shitless to take up the leading role of their lives, and prefer to stay in the background.
The time has come for the Divine feminine to rise inside each woman and each man on this planet.
The time to silence the bullshit of the mind and connect back to the womb, the infinite God- given creative potential inside each human being.
To explore the space inside where the Goddess invites you to rest in confidence and self- acceptance.
Allow Her to shelter your abandoned inner child under her wings, bless and heal all of your broken parts.
She is waiting for you to remember yourself.
May we rise to the Glory that we are.
Narayan Sijan Lightography- Photography